I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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