Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
jump out the window naked night went bad
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
