Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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