Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
