And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
