I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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