We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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