i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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