Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize