Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
