Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
