I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
