what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
