I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize