Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize