I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
