Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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