felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
