Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
