Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize