just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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