i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
