Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
