Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
