there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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