how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
