And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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