If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
