This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
