no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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