Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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