You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
