the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
