This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
