evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
