"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
