So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize