I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
