we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
