I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
