there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
