We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This is classic penis vs brain.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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