Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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