I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
