You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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