I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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