thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
