Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
