Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize