you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
