We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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