Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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