carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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