By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
