This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
