im about as happy as oj after his trial
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm really busy with my period
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