He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
