Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
