Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
