I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
