the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
