yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
