Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
tequila makes me forget i have legs
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
