beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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