It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize