so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
