dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
