I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
