well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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